Friday, February 4, 2011

My Yes Love Story


Chapter 1
It is the day he leaves and I am a mess. I am feeling my heart, and I don't know what to do with it. It is this cracked open, wet and heavy thing. It is inside my chest, but also in my belly, in my brain, in my fingertips. My eyes are wet as I serve brunch, because of course the day he leaves is a Sunday and brunch waits for no man. What do I care for your coffee? Your bloody mary? Your eggs well done and bacon crispy? I feel like Frida Kahlo with my ribs open, my heart blue and red, lurid on my chest. No one seems to notice. That night the sky is dressed for dancing and my fresh new skin is in love with the air. I stand outside and look up for a long, long time.

Chapter 2
Two days pass. I call my Mama and she tells me that a friend is dying. She asks me if I am in love. I don't know, I say, I don't know. All I want to eat is yogurt and soup. I am on the heartbreak yogurt and soup diet. I tell her that even though it's a broken-hearted feeling, I am glad to feel my heart again. It's about time someone turned the lights on, she says.

Chapter 3
I call him. I tell him how I feel. He sees my bet and raises. Rather than hide my beating heart I expose it, I open it's windows, I let the air in. I find that all the songs are true. We agree to start from here and get to know each other. We see each other as endlessly amazing, and inside that endlessness he sees I stretch out my arms and it feels good, and I wonder, How far can I go? And the rest is now, and the rest is now, and the rest is now.

18 comments:

Ms. Moon said...

Oh my, oh my, oh my.
Well then and there you go. You have opened the windows and the lights are on. I see you have gathered flowers to put in a vase, too, which says that you love yourself, that in loving yourself, you are capable of letting love in. That you are allowing the idea of...beauty.
Oh my.

Ms. Moon said...

P.S. I love you.

Mel said...

Oh May. Your heart has awakened. It wants what it wants. With arms wide open, ready to let love in. I hope you go very very far. Hugs.

SJ said...

I'm glad you're going all in. I can't wait to watch it all unfold-

downtown guy said...

Pleased.

Steph(anie) said...

Holy God, woman. This knocked me off my chair, it's so good.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

I love you, May May. I wish you much happiness. MUCH!

ZenGato said...

Beautiful words from a beautiful lady. So happy. Live and love my dear.

Petit fleur said...

Taking in deep cleansing breaths after reading this! Such good news for you... and of course for HIM!! What a lucky lucky LUCKY man.

You can tell him I said so.

Love you chica.
xoxo
m

honeyluna said...

I must admit, I am very excited for you. Sure do love you.

Elizabeth said...

I though oh my, oh my, oh my while I was reading this and then saw Ms. Moon's comment,

Oh, my. I see your heart, there, so graphic yet true.

dbs said...

Treat your life.

All This Trouble... said...

Dude.

Ellen said...

Blog three that I have read since finding yours...and the excitement of love and happiness is just around the corner..hoping all goes well.

Mwa said...

Yes. Love. Bravo!

deb colarossi said...

Trembling for you, May.

Jo said...

Don't forget to love yourself most. So you show him how to.

best to you xx

michelle said...

brave lady.

let that heart out. it's spring!

xoxoxo