Sunday, May 23, 2010


The day I was born, slipping wide eyed and shocked into this world, I was pissed as all babies are. I was pissed to be pulled so rudely from the red velvet room of my mother's body and tired from the endless smashing journey of the birth canal and I squawked and I squarreled my rage and disapproval. Fortunately, though undeserving as I was so freshly made, I was born to a woman whose face was so beautiful that peace overtook me and I quickly found this world to my liking. My mother's face was my first sunrise.
I learned that day that though there will be pain and I will be bewildered and often angry, I could expect to find marvelous surprises that would soften the sharp of life outside. Smoked mullet was a revelation. A lemon wedge would blow my mind. A fondness for breasts would never leave me. A brother is a genius thing. There are books.
And so we are the same today as we are the day we are born, only not babies and therefore not as cute. Not babies and not as cute, but Mama stays the same. Her face, her arms, the tightly packed packages of her calves, her heartbeat, her life-giving bosoms. She turns and her smile is still the sun.
This crazy mad life, what a wonder I exist! I am an accident of bone! I am the only me there is! How absurd! How grand! All this and dancing too! and lace and cakes and slime and Edgar Degas who loved the ballerinas! All this created for me simply because my mother loves me so.

17 comments:

Ms. Moon said...

Oh my God! That is the very best thing anyone has ever said about me and makes my heart sing and oh May- you have always been so easy to love! Your tiny scrunched up face unfolded as I held you in my arms and we all laughed. Such joy on that morning down the road in Lloyd from where I am right this second. Where did you get that picture? It's so beautiful. As are you.
My God but I love you so. Happy almost birthday. See you soon and there will be pies.

Kori said...

Miss May, you blow me away.

N2 said...

Dear May,
What a lovely tribute to your dear Ma. So sweet of you to send this gift the other way to the Giver of Gifts. She seems to have passed on her writing talent to her daughter. Happy, happy B'day. x0 N2

Danielle said...

oh i really like to look at that picture...and i so like that i can see so much of your mama in ur face..bond bond bond ...thats so precious..

just me, still said...

your words are such a treasure. and that picture is the very essence of love. what a gift you are to each other.

Elizabeth said...

Happy Birthday, beautiful May and Mary.

Django said...

Happy birthday, my May. And Mary. I'm glad that one of you had the other and that both of you have each other.

Petit fleur said...

Your words are divine!

Love you so birthday girl.
xoxo pf & clan

Steph(anie) said...

Oh, May.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

I'm sorry I missed the damn birthday pies. Fuck, I love Key Lime. My sister-in-law made a Key Lime pie once, and I don't know what that bitch did, but it tasted like sour shit.

Anyhoo, I'm glad to find your new space here, my dear.

Beautiful post. Your ass is loved.

SB

ZenGato said...

I could read your beautiful words all day, I just wish I could see your beautiful face. Love you and hope you had a wonderful day.

downtown guy said...

That's such a crazy good picture.

Yay May!

May said...

Mama- You are my gift! That was a real fun crazy birthday. Good lord! How is it that two babies can fill up a whole house? It was like there were babies everywhere.

Kori- High praise, Madam. I admire you so much.

N2- Thank you for your sweet words and for coming by! Now if only I was as prolific as my Mama.

Danielle- Hello Handsome! Yes, it is precious, and I love when people say they can see Mama in me. That is the sweetest compliment.

just me- You are right, we are a gift to eachother. We are so lucky! Thank you.

Elizabeth- Thank you, beautiful Elizabeth!

Django- I got your card! I think that you win the "Happy Birthday in every possible medium" award. I owe you a good long email or phone call. Soon, I promise.

Petit Fleur- Thank you, Lovely! And thank you for spending my birthday with me in the real world! It was so fun! I think my favorite part was that I got Happy Birthday sung to me 2 x so that Harley could join in. *kisses and hugs*

Steph- You know. I love you.

SB- I will make you all the key lime pies you want. Or key lime martinis. I can't say how much I love you because I'd get all choked up, and I just don't feel like crying this morning! I just don't! (i love you so much.)

ZenGato- When will you ever come visit? I would like to see YOUR beautiful face.

DTG- I know, right? It's my favorite. Yay me! HA!

Mwa said...

You make me tear up that is so beautiful.

SJ said...

Um, Buttercup? Update!!! I need a May fix in my life.

Maggie May said...

damn. i'm tearing up, and i can count on two hands how many times that's happened in two years of reading blogs.

clearness said...

My mother's face was my first sunrise......That is so beautiful!!!