Saturday, November 17, 2012

It's Been A Long Time Since We Rock-n-Rolled

          I woke up this morning after too many gray days, after not feeling well and time on the couch only interrupted by time in the bed and lo, the sky is blue and lo, the air is clean and cold and oh, I have to wash my hair. I want to burn my pajamas. I want to get on the good foot. I want to take a walk.
         I wish I could write about all the changes that have occurred in the past year and a half. I don't have the energy right now, it's too much and somehow not enough. I will try. Soon.
         I quit my job. I wish I could write about that, about the bittersweet about that place and also the miseries, but I don't want to tell tales outside of school and if I can't write the anger then I can't write the sublime. It's just not truth that way. Maybe I will though, you never know. Lord knows it would be nice to get it all out and move on. Weird when something is your life for so long and then it is not and you walk around empty for a while- hands empty, brain empty, a strange light feeling in your skin and nothing to say, not at all, to anyone.
        I can hear the boyfriend turning in the bed, and the house ticking into late morning, and the cats playing rumble-stomp, and for now that is okay. There is a walk to take, and hair to wash. I'm sorry it's been so long. We'll talk soon.

10 comments:

Ms. Moon said...

And if this newly-revealed sun has called out your voice, then I am even more enchanted by it than I already was.

May said...

Good morning, Mama! Of course, now it is gray again, but it was still a lovely walk.

michelle said...

May!

so good to hear your voice

xo

downtown guy said...

May!

May said...

Hey guys! It's so nice to see your faces here!

Petit fleur said...

MAY!!!! I've miss you so! I love you! So good to see you pop up with a post.

I think I know what you mean about quitting your job that you've had a love / hate relationship for a long time. It's like grieving, and it makes sense. Pieces of our identities get attached to things like where we spend time, who with and even things as crazy as hair! I just cut mine before we left and I still don't feel right when I see my reflection.

I was thinking about what you said about writing the anger as well as the sublime... Could you write it as though it were a story about someone else..? You know, change the names to protect the innocent? :-)

Anyway, whatever you write, I will read happily.
Much love to you sweet May.
xo m

Mel said...

May and Michelle in the same day, it is an abundance of sunshine. I've thought a bit lately about how what we do becomes who we are, more so than we'd like. Hope you find your favorite version of you. Welcome back.

parfum said...

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Parfum pas cher

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Dr. kold_kadavr_flatliner, MD, the sub/dude said...

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Meet me Upstairs where the Son never goes down…